Yoni Steaming: Ancient Wisdom for Women’s Wellness
Marisa exclaimed, “I am having the best period! No sharp pains, cramping, or back aches like usual. I am traveling all this week for training and it would have been awful if I had my usual symptoms.”
Marisa was surprised, and elated, by the incredible results she’d gotten from what may seem like a strange trend – a trend that has deep historical roots as an ancient remedy and is seeing a fervent revival among women today. Many know this remedy as yoni steaming.
The yoni steam (sometimes called the vaginal steam, v-steam, chai-yok or bajo) is a remedy that has stood the test of time. Yoni (योनि) is Sanskrit for vagina and womb, can be translated as origin of life, and is the symbol of the Hindu Goddess Devi. In Mayan and Korean cultures, yoni steaming has remained a well-respected ritual for supporting all aspects of women’s wellness – from the physical, to the emotional and spiritual. For millennia, women had shared this knowledge among one another, inspiring each other to connect with, love and heal our bodies.
Yet modernity has cast aside this tried and true method. As a result, many women have forgotten this ancient wisdom for our wellness, fallen out of touch with our sacred cycles and become disconnected from our wombs.
Today, women like Marisa are rediscovering the wisdom of the yoni steam, and the ancient practice is experiencing a wild revival. Why?
Because yoni steams have an incredible power to reconnect us with our roots and heal our monthly cycles.
Yoni steams are known by women to:
· Significantly reduce pain, bloating and exhaustion associated with menstruation.
· Decrease menstrual flow.
· Regulate irregular or absent menstrual cycles.
· Improve fertility.
· Speed healing and tone the reproductive system after birth.
· Treat uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts, uterine weakness, uterine prolapse & endometriosis.
· Assist with the repair of a vaginal tear, episiotomy, or C-section scar.
· Assist with the healing of hemorrhoids.
· Treat chronic vaginal/yeast infections, and works to maintain healthy odor.
· Relieve symptoms of menopause including dryness or pain during intercourse.
· Detoxify the root chakra and womb
· Release stored emotions or traumas that hold us back.
· Tap into the root energy that gives rise our visions and creative potential.
Often, us women accept the challenges we regularly face as normal, and we rarely talk about the discomfort and suffering they cause. But today, we are ready to reconnect with our roots and recall the wisdom of our grandmothers. We are remembering that yoni steaming is a simple herbal remedy that we can call upon to naturally treat the causes of these challenges and heal our sacred cycles.
It’s time to share this wisdom with our sisters far and wide!
How to do a yoni steam
It’s easy for you or your loved ones to do a yoni steam at home. To do so, simply steep approximately 1 heaping cup of dry yoni steaming herbs in a pot of hot water for 10 minutes. Allow the water to cool for 5 minutes, and then pour into a heat-safe basin. Disrobe from the waist down, and find a quiet place to relax with the steam below your yoni (vagina) for about 30 minutes. Keep the steam contained, but be sure the steam temperature is mild, so as to avoid burns. Stay wrapped in warm blankets from head to toe as you sit, staying as warm as possible. The steam should feel pleasant, and you’ll likely find the sensation enjoyable! This is a great time to write in a journal, listen to a guided meditation (See more here) or set some intentions for yourself in your life.
Once the time has passed, remain wrapped in blankets and lie down in a warm bed for at least an hour (or the night). The herbs will continue to work on your reproductive system as you rest, and you'll wake up feeling healed and revitalized. Repeat this process two to three times per month (except for while menstruating). If you are like the countless other women who yoni steam regularly, you'll notice a powerful reconnection with your root and your womb, a more pleasant menstrual cycle, and more creative energy as the months go by.
How does yoni steaming work?
A yoni steam works by applying gentle heat, as well as moisture carrying the volatile oils of medicinal plants, to the exterior tissues of the vagina (the tissue referred to as the vulva). The warmth increases circulation to the labia, causing it to swell and expose the inner labial mucus membranes. These tissues are very porous and absorbent, allowing the bloodstream to pick up the volatile oils of the plants and carry them into the inner reproductive system, including the uterus. There, the plant medicine helps to thin mucus and shed unnecessary membranes and build-up. The result is a revitalized uterus, a healthier, more pleasant cycle and a woman who feels more connected to her womb.
Yoni steam precautions
Are there any drawbacks to yoni steaming? Not many, as long as you follow a few simple precautions. First and foremost, never try a yoni steam while pregnant or if you have any sort of infection. Secondly, yoni steams should only be used while you are not menstruating, and are not recommended for women with an intrauterine device (IUD). Third, you always be sure the steam temperature is mild so as to avoid scalding. Finally, be aware that your first cycle after steaming may be heavier and darker, however this is simply proof that the treatment worked, and will not be the case in the future (your body had to purge all that “excess” out before it can feel light and healthy!). As long as you are aware of all of the above, yoni steaming is a safe and effective holistic health treatment.
Yoni steaming is an age-old remedy that has been tested and proven by generations before us. Whether your life is dramatically improved because of easier menstruation, or you simply experience a greater connection with your yoni, the benefits of this ancient wisdom are abundant.
It’s time every woman is aware of this ancient natural solution, and has access to the information and resources she needs to treat herself. For the sake of every woman, her community, and the planet.
It's your birthright to feel good in your life.
Life may have been hard at one time for you. Maybe there were a lot of times. I know there were plenty for me.
It may even feel hard for you now.
But it doesn't have to be that way anymore.
We've been taught to work hard, to push, to make things happen, or else..
But the truth is, we can't 'make' things happen. Life will be life and the biggest lesson I know about life is that it's all about acceptance.
There is a natural rhythm to everything, but we have become so out of sync with it as a society, a species, that we've forgotten it can be easy. And joyful.
I firmly feel there is another way we can choose to live. One that is not based on fear and separation. One that is based in a solid understanding of respect, peacefulness, nurturance and love.
With everything going on in the world right now, now is the perfect time to choose where you want to live. We really are on the threshold as a collective society of breaking through from fear to love, once and for all.
We just need to remember that the breaking through doesn't require force, but a deep surrendering to what is, and holding the vision of a Resolution of Love.
So right now, whatever you're moving through, whatever we are all moving through...
Choose to feel good now. Choose to accept what is. All the stuff you don't like and all the stuff you wish you could change. You can't. It is what it is.
By accepting life on life's terms, you may start to ride its waves a little easier... you may even stand up and surf with it, and enjoy it.
When you choose peace over opposition, when you choose ease instead of effort, when you choose a smile instead of causing pain, when you choose love over fear, then you are choosing life and all her brilliant colors.
And we all benefit. Your choices matter each moment.
Let yourself be ok.
And we'll be ok.
It's your birthright to feel good.
That's the truth.
I want to be there for you when you are sad and need cuddles.
I want to kiss your face and wash soap all over your naked body in the shower.
I want to listen to your fears and create a magical now.
I want to hold your hand and fall asleep on your chest.
I want to laugh till our tummies hurt and cry with gratitude.
I want to dance and learn new things, forever students of life.
I want to make love by the fire and watch the stars for hours.
I want to jump in the car with you and ride into the sunset, not knowing where we are going.
I want to help you when you are sick and when you are old and frail.
I want to lay down to rest and know that we gave it our all.
And, I want to be free.
I want to set sail on my own and venture into the wild.
I want to dance to the rhythm of my heart beat and sweat out my fears alone.
I want to flirt and kiss others, because the moment is so rich with juice.
I want to howl at the moon with my sisters and not call you for days.
I want to answer to myself, my choices coming from my own inner authority.
I want to jump in the ocean while you are asleep at home.
I want to hold someone's hand and tell them it's all going to be ok.
I want to be seduced and adored by the newness of a stranger.
I want to travel without a map and not know when I'll see you next.
I want to fall into the abyss and know you are on the other side.
I want to play, dance and sing with all that life will bring.
I want to be your partner, and I want to be free.
About 3 months ago I found myself exhausted in every way. I was suffering from major mind fog, fatigue, unfocused, overwhelmed, and energetically and emotionally drained.
I began going out into nature to rejuvenate and detox from my career, relationships, technology and the day to day modern life issues of survival and consumerist culture...first world problems.
And although, I know that first world problems are nowhere to the same kind of stress as third world stress.. Our fast-paced, left brain addictive, work to survive culture in the West, is majorly toxic.
It lacks harmony because in the cities, shopping malls and freeways, there is no room for what brings true harmony for the human body. There is almost no room for nurture or nature.
One afternoon I called a Nutritionist girlfriend who is healing herself from an autoimmune disease and adrenal crash. I had been feeling really out of it all week and suddenly, while on a call with someone, I felt really high, like I had smoked a really big joint... but I hadn't. My whole spirit felt out of my body and as if my skin was pulsing all over.
I asked, "Is this what it felt like for you when your adrenals crashed?" "Yes," she answered.
So, I took huge steps to put my health first. I let go of 85% of my private clients, and therefore 85% of my usual, steady income. I moved out of my house and into nature and much more solitude.
I stepped fully into trusting that I am supported.
I saw that health and wellbeing truly is the most important thing we have... Along with trust and love.
I focused entirely on strengthening my body and recouping my energy.
I took baths, danced more, slept more, sang more, laughed more, thought way less about 'what I should be doing' or 'how I can grow my business', or even, 'how I can be of more service to others.'
I made a lot of time and space for myself to just be. To unwind and revitalize.
I allowed the fog to clear and to start to really listen to what my Soul truly desires... beyond the big American movie dream of how my life is supposed to be. I gave up the notion that to be 'successful' and living a purpose driven life, I probably need some kind of recognition and societal status for my work and contribution. Even the attachment to being financially paid for my contribution, I released to the abyss.
I allowed myself to be open to how abundant I really am, without money, identities and all the stuff.
I got rid of 90% of my clothes and belongings. I decided and got really excited about living the gypsy life in an RV.
I let things become really simple. Really clear.
I realized what I really want my life to look and feel like. A knowing I've seen in my heart's vision since I was a young girl.
The simple life.
Love, family, freedom, the open road, trees and plants, good fresh food, animals, children, laughter, love making, dancing, awesome mamma earth adventures, sisterhood, painting, singing, campfires, performance, art, cuddles, writing, sharing my heart, cooking, expanding into more love, sharing my being, swimming bare bummed in hot springs...
Bearing my naked soul and being devoured by the simple, nourishing, pleasure of life's magical, mystical and motherly presence.
I am grateful for my adrenal crash. It taught me that life can be this easy. That I can have it all. And I don't need to have the stress with it.
The birthplace for it all is when we truly step back and nourish within. All outward expression comes from that sweet sweet overflow.
What would change for you if you looked at life through the lens of; "I live as if my wellbeing and health is the most important aspect of my life..."
What could you shift in your life, relationships, work, responsibilities, ideas, diet and self-care that could align you with your optimal life force energy, vitality, harmony, fulfillment and passion?
For more info on how adrenal fatigue affects our wellbeing, especially as we live a modern lifestyle with so many different stresses and high standards of performance, go here. Also, check out my new Donate for Coaching opportunity. In exchange for sliding scale coaching with me for an authentic and fulfilling life, I give a % to a charity of your choice and the rest supports me on my continued healing path and sharing my gifts with the world.
Much health, wealth and fulfillment to you. xx
Being a Tantric lover is really fun, simple and effective.
Do you want to drive him wild and open his heart to deeper intimacy? Do you want to know how to hit her buttons, over and over again?
Tantra has a lot to do with being in the physical realm, so it doesn't need to be woo woo or complicated.
Here's 7 Sensual yet Simple Secrets to Being a Tantric Lover for Men & Women;
1. Breathe more deeply when you are with your partner or potential lover. Breathing into your groin, belly and then chest will awaken your sensual charisma, which will be felt by your sexy interest and they will wonder why they are suddenly turned on!
2. Gaze into their eyes. Again, this is simple, but how many of us really look into someone's eyes? We may on the first date because we are really curious about this new person, but then we get into familiarity and we forget there is so much more to learn about our lover. Really taking time to look deeper into someone's eyes, and simultaneously allowing yourself to them seeing you, is really juicy. It's like you are telepathically saying, "I am not afraid to let you see me, and you have all my attention right now." Even if your partner seems uncomfortable with all the extra intention, keep with it (I mean, don't be creepy, be natural but don't back away from the intimacy!), show them that you desire to connect. I assure you they will soon melt and things will heat up.
3. Listen to their body. The body speaks. It gives us a clear signal if we are getting a yes or a no. Crossed arms = Protective/Afraid. Woman rustling her own hair = I want you. Playfully touching you = Take me now! Follow their cues, listen to the sounds they make, and if in doubt, ask them what they want in a sexy whisper.
4. Feather light touch. If you get the go-ahead to get closer, start with the lightest, slowest, feather light touch you can do. The lighter you go the more sensations the skin will feel and become aroused. You can certainly switch up the firmness and speed, but starting with and coming back to the slow, sensual touch over your lovers skin will awaken their sensuality and their ability to be present to every stroke. As will you.
5. Slow down baby. A good, hard and fast lovemaking session is fun, but like step 4, you've got to change it up otherwise it gets robotic and desensitizing. To really be a Tantric Sex God/Goddess you need to slow the pace down, practice elongating the pleasure and delaying satisfaction a little. Add all previous steps to a slower, sensual and intimate pace and you will start to tune into a deeper level of connection and love making.
6. Spread sexual energy. Using yummy coconut oil and following your breath (you can ask your lover to breathe slower/deeper also), run your fingers from their sexual center up over their stomach, between the breast/chest, over the throat, lips.. caress your fingers through their hair and then exhale the energy back down over their arms, body, down their legs, all the way to their feet. Work your way back up to the inside of their thighs and gently, cheekily touch over their sex. Repeat, watching how their body moves and where your fingers are drawn to. The intention is to spread the pleasure all over their body (you can simultaneously do that with your own with your breath/awareness the more sensitive to the sexual energy you become too). Spreading the energy allows for a more expansive feeling in the body, the pleasure can start to ripple throughout every inch of their/your skin and this is how full body and multiple orgasms can occur (for both sexes!).
7. Breast massage. Breast are the center for intimacy. Think about it. Our heart sits right at our breasts. Our heart is not just a physical pump to keep us alive but the place where we feel deep emotion, love and connection. When the breasts are stimulated and the nipples are given a firm yet loving pinch, Oxytocin, the love and bonding hormone is released. For women, this also causes the uterus and cervix to lift, making them more ready for penetration. Women and men can both become extremely aroused by a sensual breast massage, just be sure to check in if they have overly sensitive nipples. Women can usually handle a stronger pinch at the base of the nipple, whereas men not so much. But, everyone is different and remember to also switch back to lighter caresses, and most importantly, listen to what your lover wants first.
It may take a little bit of coordination and practice to remember to breathe deeply, while softly, slowly caressing their skin and staying connected to what their body and the sounds they make are telling you. But, it will be so worth it. For them and for you!
Now go forth you Sexy Tantric God/Goddess you! ;)
Seriously, a healing Vagina massage will set you free!
Yoni (Vagina) massage is a powerful healing tool for women. It is a modality that has been deeply effective in my own healing journey and is a practice that goes far beyond anything you can imagine in it's power to heal and awaken all women to the amazing potential inside of themselves.
I recently received a deeply healing and powerful Yoni massage from a Tantric master while traveling in India. I have good instincts and I felt instantly safe in this mans presence. I could feel his deep commitment to providing a safe container for healing. He confirmed my intuition by adding; "I don't call myself a healer. I guide you. You are your own healer." There was no ego attached to him "healing me" or even worse, feeding his ego about his ability to give me pleasure.
This was what I got from this experience and why I believe every woman should receive this:
When shit hits the fan, do you trust that you can handle it?
When life throws a curve ball, do you stay grounded and know that everything always works out?
Do you trust deep down that you are supported by the Universe?
Are you able to focus on what you do want (not what you don't want) and manifest it into reality?
Can you keep connected to the Earth while taking risks and flying up high?
It takes consistent practice to develop this kind of relationship with yourself and with the Universe.
The Universe wants you to thrive but it does not judge and gives you exactly what you ask for (complaining about what you don't have is asking too!), so it's up to you to be clear and ask for the goods!
Watch this video about how I didn't freak out when a major curve ball was thrown at me by life (secretly I manifested it...like I said, be careful what you wish for!) and how you can create a habit of trust in your life too (major free gift for you)!
Sex is spiritual too, you know.
I prefer the path of enlightenment through my sexuality than the seemingly dull and A-sexual ashram life I experienced.
I get it; the Ashram in South East India, a spiritual community and place of worship of the Divine, was a place where people came to find hope when all seemed lost. There was no energy for sensuality, sexuality or passion... (read the full article here)
Last night I dreamt I was getting a pep talk from Meryl Streep. Gandhi and Tony Robbins were there too, along with a few other well known spiritual thought leaders. Basically a bunch of highly successful, unapologetic and authentic people, gave me a pep talk on it being time to stop playing in the realm of shrinking myself out of fear of what others think.
They said, plain and simple… It is time to go big.
Although it seemed like a strange dream, like many of my strange dreams, the message was clear. I belong in the realm of infinite possibilities and I am the only one who is truly holding me back from living there and seizing the rewards.
Even as I finished writing the word “rewards” I heard that inner critic, the voice that says “Who do you think you are? Rewards?! You think you deserve some reward for doing something or just because you’re you? What about other people? Do they get a reward too? Or you just think you’re special?”
Wow. That hurts you mean old stingy belief system.
Everybody deserves the rewards of life. I believe the reward is life, really living it and allowing ourselves to fly as opposed to crawl or hide out in one place. Not everyone wants that. I get it. Most of us want safety, to stay within the comforts of what we know. There is a part of me that wants to do that for sure, but there is so much of me that is crying out to be free, to risk in this life!
That part of me that wants to break open the confines in my mind, break open the jail cell that I have sentenced myself to, and to burst through the ceiling and fly. She believes that anything is possible. She knows that we can have it all, experience it all, make mistakes, bounce back, love and have our heart broken, cry and laugh all in one moment, and that there is no limit to what we can create in the world when we surrender and jump. She knows that when I stand up and take life by the reins and give myself permission to have and be it all, that this gives others a great example to live by.
"There is no scarcity of life experience and life expression. There is only an abundance of it all, for all of us to play in."
If anybody else said to me; “You know what, Lillie, I am tired of being small and scared. I am tired of backing away from the ideas that come to me and not starting things or finishing them because I am afraid of what others will say and think about me. I want to live my life. My life. I cannot be anybody else, and I think it’s time I gave myself permission to go for everything I want in this life. I think it’s time I let myself have anything and everything. I know I can make a difference in this world, even if it is with a couple of people who need me to stand for their greatness. I’m going to let myself make a lot of money and do good with it for others. I’m going to let myself not struggle and worry every month about money and I’m going to take some beautiful trips exploring the world with that money too. I am going to do whatever I want and not hold back. I’m going big!”…
I would say YES, fucking YES!! Do it! Go! I stand for you to live your life fully! Make mistakes, feel silly sometimes, try new things, help people who want it in the ways that you are good at! Make money and enjoy the pleasures of the material world! I trust you as a person with integrity and a thoughtful brain! Do it all. Be happy. Be big.
I have no problem to say that to someone else and truly mean it. But for me to tell myself that and believe it… that takes a lot of work. This letter to myself (oh, you thought I was talking to you! Well, if it resonates… I am ;)), this letter is another way I work it and don’t let the fear win.
Fear is such a party pooper. Seriously, it shows up at the worst possible moment and steals the show; like when they call action in an audition and fear takes over everything you prepared; it shows up when you meet a great new guy or gal and whispers that this feeling is too good to be true, you should get out before they break your heart anyway or find out you’re not as amazing as you appear right now. Fear wrecks the party when you start comparing yourself to anyone else for any reason; fear is the bully who ends connection and breeds wars, fear stops you from saying what is really going on, even if it’s “I’m sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me, I love you.”
"Fear robs us of our joy, our inspiration, our creativity, our relationships, the opportunities that come our way, money, connection, and our freedom… the list goes on."
My biggest fear is that you think I am a fake; that I do not know anything valuable and I am simply not good enough to do the things that I want to do.
When I say it out loud I can hear how silly that belief system is and where it shows up in my life (as in the examples above). It’s silly because I am me; a human being who is constantly learning, growing, making mistakes (which are really just opportunities for growth and creativity). I am full of contradictions just as life is, I am figuring it all out as I go, just like anyone else, I am happy, sad, silly, I feel a lot, think a lot, I desire a lot, I have a deep yearning to see people feeling good, healthy, happy, doing what they love, to see the world come together as one and be supportive and accepting of each other. I am all of that and more. I am as real as life is. Which is as real as a dream.
Ghandi said (in “real life” not my dream);
“Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”
To me this means that we are always evolving and therefore changing, we are never the same person, unless we are holding onto our beliefs, ideas, and the illusions of being one certain person. It seems that if we are constantly shifting who we are then we have very little to hold onto…and that could feel scary. It does feel scary! I am learning something new about the world and myself in every moment. Often it shakes up what I “knew” before and I naturally feel “not myself” because the Self I was, is now not that Self. I am left to trust that I do not know. I am surrendered to the Greater energy of Life and my human Self feels like a fake.
I have made it my work to share what has helped me transform my life from the inside out. Only a few years ago I was driven by deep anger, extreme anxiety, low self-esteem and disconnected from my own Soul. Today, I experience deep joy, gratitude, self-acceptance, pleasure and connection to my Soul. I’m able to manifest and create things externally, have meaningful relationships and communication with people, and I continue to work through my fears and self doubts.
I share openly where I am at weather it be a vulnerable state, a deeper healing journey I am moving through, a space of joy and bliss. I share it all because I know that my true qualification is my authenticity and my journey of being a human being. There is no textbook, no road map, and no right or wrong way to go. I share what works for me, and for many others who are not content to stay the same or remain hidden.
The real fakeness is when I am not being real to myself and therefore I am being inauthentic with you. I am expecting myself to be what I think others think I’m suppose to be. “I think, you think” is the game my fear plays with me. That is a game of projections, assumptions, expectations and stories I have complied based on who I think you are and what you think of me. That is a game called big ego, when in fact, I can only know what you really think of me if I ask you, listen without my own projections and you tell me with complete honesty… and then what? I know what you think which is either positive, negative or neutral. So, who cares anyway! This is a game I will never win and quiet frankly, it’s really boring. Moving on…
To say that I don’t know anything of value is just bulllshizzz too. I know many things that have value, and value to who is the real question. There are many things I know from life experiences that when I have shared have given much clarity and healing to others. There are many things I know to be true that you may not agree with or believe in. That’s ok too. What I value doesn’t have to be what you value. It is ok that you don’t share the same beliefs, values or opinions. We are all making everything mean something and all of it means nothing anyway!
There are things that you know that I don’t know and I would love to learn! Seriously, I love to learn. I’m not good at everything I do, I have to work hard to be even average at many things; school was like that for me. But, when I get something because it’s something that I didn’t know before, that is really satisfying to me. And I’m ok not knowing everything. I’ll either learn or I won’t. I will survive.
Maybe we are not all supposed to know all the same things anyway. We get to know what we know and stay curious about each other. Everyone knows something a little different. I wonder what would happen in the world if we all saw that as interesting and exciting, rather than as what separates us and is the reason why family reunions can be uncomfortable for some of us, or why we have wars about political, social and religious differences.
Finally, my fear of not being good enough… I am sure that almost everyone has had that fear in some shape or form. Not being worthy of love, joy, and success. Have you? It is a basic human fear that we acquired at some point early in our lives, something happened, we reacted internally and created a sense of fear and shame, a story that we are not good, worthy or capable. Which is simply not true. I’m not going to even bother with this one. I am worthy, I am good enough, I am loved, loving, able, capable, successful and happy. You are too.
So, basically, what I am saying with this letter is this; I’m here to be me. I was born on this weird and wonderful planet to express my unique knowing and not knowing, so I am going to do that. I am aware that I will trigger some people with what I say, what I think, what I do. I am ok with that. I don’t need you to approve of me. I am doing that myself. It is time we stop being afraid of each other and our differences. It is time to let our wrong/right, good/bad, agree/disagree… if you can, take a breath with me and... Let. It. Go! ☺
We can be aware of when our voice in our head is running the show and doing the judging, blaming, should/shouldn’t thing. It’s not really you. We are not only our opinions, we are a part of the Universe in a much more connected way than our thoughts and opinions will ever let us be. When I spend more time in the observer mind, my higher mind, then I can witness all those fears and critical thoughts. It is in this space that I can step back and feel who I really am, a piece of the divine. I am observing my mind having a human experience, and choose to not get so caught up in the fear and judgments.
I am going to say this as clearly as I can think to, and this is not against you in anyway, this is to my fear; I will not dim my light for you. I will not let my fear of what I think you think of me, stand in my way to experiencing my big, happy, wildly fun and wondrously full life. It’s my life, I get to choose and this is what I choose.
I have a deep and wide knowing in my heart (and a shit load of serendipitous experiences that have helped me to see it,) and that knowing is this- LOVE is the medicine we all need. Love is the first and the final answer. Love is the ultimate healer, our true nature and our destiny. Love is what we are all starving for and what we also resist the most. It is love that will save our souls and soften our suffering. Love is the pure medicine that is all of our birthrights to feel and live in. And in love, there is no fear.
"I choose to live in love and love is fucking big! So I’m living in the big, juicy, never-ending depths and breadth of LOVE."
It is another year, it’s 2016 and I am going big beauties! ;)
P.S. I love you and think if you are still reading this that it’s time you chose love over fear once and for all too. You may have to tattoo it onto your arm or your forehead to remember when that party pooper, fear, shows up next time, but you can and will remember to choose love again. When you live from that place, the space of profound love, then you will choose to go big because anything is possible with love. Let’s do this together! Let’s go big!
Love, Lillie XX
Its the end as we know it...
The end of another year. The end of 2015. What does this mean?
For me, it represents a completion of one life chapter, and a new slate to create a whole new story.
We are all writing our own story. We are the authors of our life.
Some of us are playing ghost writer and pretending that someone else can take the blame for how the journey goes.
We use a fake name or someone else's identity entirely. Maybe our parents, our kids, our ex who broke our heart, our boss, or the big bad Government. We give them all the credit for how fucked up our life is and why this happened instead of that.
If things are wonderful, we're more likely to claim our place at the Writer's Guild of Life. But then again, some of us have an issue with being responsible full stop, even for the good stuff.
Most of us have an ego so in control that we just can't face that we suck at writing. We would rather be miserable, or numb, than admit that we took a wrong turn, that we spat out a very deadly line that hurt someone, ourselves included, and now we are living "Bridget Jones Diary" on repeat. Or worse. Reruns of "Desperate Housewives" or "Judge Judy"... Or really worse... no, I don't know what's worse than those.
If you take a look around, and I don't mean just around in your environment, but around your life, inside your heart, in your relationships with people...
Do you feel connected to yourself, to your passion, your joy, to love?
Do you feel connected to others, to being authentic, kind, supportive and supported?
Are you fulfilled and free?
Is resentment and guilt eating you up?
Are there words of gratitude and peace that go unspoken?
What might happen if you swallowed your pride and said "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you."
What is the fear in your mind telling you that keeps you from letting go and letting love in?
"It's too late. They won't accept me. I'm still angry. They hurt me. My story is different. I'm special. It's too hard. I can't. But what if they still don't love me...?
It's ok. You do not need them to love you or accept you.
That's your job. It's your job to love and accept you and it's your job to love and accept them.
You are the author of your life. For good or for bad. You are it. You are the Knight in shining armor, the Princess who needs rescuing and the wicked Witch who put you up in that castle and threw away the key.
You get to choose. You get to decide who you want to be and how you want your story to go.
Is it time to stop playing victim? Is it time to stop running away and face yourself in the mirror...
Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
You are. If you choose to be.
If we all saw that we are all the mirror for each others beauty, we would all see that we are the "fairest" ones.
We are the one who can choose to be responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, actions and outcomes. For our own lives.
Write a story that makes you feel good. It doesn't have to be perfect. It can have twists and turns. It is life, not fantasy after all.
But what makes your story really empowering, and will ultimately make you and all of us feel good, is the story that you take responsibility for and say "I wrote this".
And on that note (no pun intended), lets scrap writing a new chapter in your book of life... How bout penning a whole new book!
It's a new year, you can have a clean slate, you can start with a book of blank pages and create the life you really want to live right now.
So, what is your story going to be in 2016?
It's my birthday & I'll cry if I want to!
Just kidding ;) Well, kinda.
That was a my wounded inner child who said that! Remember the popular song from 1965 by Lesley Gore?
"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to...You would cry to if it happened to you."
Well, what happened to me, you may be wondering? Growing up happened. The loss of childhood happened. The grief that comes from letting go and moving forward. The uncomfortable pains of growing and truly being an adult.
In this personal video I share with you some of my most vulnerable moments of growing up and how I practice accepting the grief that continues to flow through my life.
I have made it my mission in life to open my heart to the many possibilities that life has to offer and ground my heart in a solid commitment to take care of myself, my needs and my dreams.
This includes the landscape of emotions and experiences that the human experience has to offer. I am certainly inviting in more of the positive, uplifting and expansive ones (we can choose to learn lessons through joy rather than pain)!
But having a connection to my inner wounded child, and acceptance of my painful and even annoying feelings (including the triggers other people provide for me), is vital to my well-being of my whole being!
What is your relationship like to your wounded inner child? Have you said hello lately? What do you do when you feel sad, alone, angry, lost and grieving? How do you love yourself through the heartbreak and suffering?
Take 12 mins to drop down into your heart and open to the feelings that are there with love, compassion and gratitude with me in this Heart Opening Meditation!
I'm truly curious about where you are at. I care if you are in suffering. Sometimes just being witnessed in our pain is a great healing for us. To have someone present, to know we are not alone. To remind us of our strength, inner beauty, and that our capacity to love is so great!
If we could only direct that toward ourselves more! I wonder what the world would look like if we breathed into our own breaking heart, rather than lashing out in anger and criticism toward others.
I sense it would be a beautiful place of compassion and joy. A space where all emotions are welcome and handled with care and kindness. A co-existence of sweet sadness and deep deep joy!
I know it's possible to create. Maybe it won't fully exist in our lifetime now, but the future generations and reincarnations of you (if you believe in that...I do) can experience Heaven on Earth.
Yes, please. I'll envision that!
Thanks for tuning into read this and watch my video on my birthday! You make me so happy! I'd love to hear from you personally if this weeks Newsletter theme resonates with you!
Sending you big bursts of love today!
Keeping looking through the lens of love sweet and worthy one,
What is the real secret to being happy, feeling passionate, on purpose and loving life?
It may not be the answer you are looking or hoping for.
It's not a quick fix.
It probably won't happen overnight...
But if you practice, persist and have patience for the process, it will change your life.
It has worked for me and continues to, as I step deeper into acceptance, trust, surrender and dedication.
So what is the truth about Self-Love, Self-Help and that "Positive Thinking" thing?
It isn't easy. It takes a strong commitment to yourself (and maybe others) to stay the course, to look at your blind spots with honesty and empathy, and keep opening your heart, even when you are afraid of getting hurt.
This is the path to accepting the sweet sadness and deep joy, to living abundantly, organically, and orgasmically.
Watch Now: The Truth about Positive Thinking, Self-Help & Self-Love!
How much can you allow yourself to say YES to all that life has for you?
Can you accept the pain in your heart, invite it to be seen and felt, and move through it with gentleness and grace?
Will you release the hold on not feeling, the controlling incase you "get hurt" or "let others down", and really give yourself permission to live the life you desire deep down?
I certainly hope so dear one.
Because all you have is now, this one precious life. That is the only thing you can be sure of.
And you deserve to let yourself live it fully, wholly and completely.
So give yourself the gift of committing to living it with passion, with courage, with a whole-hearted "Yes!"
Ask yourself these questions;
Who do I desire to be?
What do I value?
What am I committed to?
What do I long to do and experience in this life?
Write these out and stick them around your house, your car, your office...
Remind yourself everyday what you value, what you are committed to creating and who you're committed to being.
Take ownership of your life and master it!
It is up to you to create the life you long to live.
If there is something you need support in, let me know!
Otherwise, know I believe in you and all the answers you seek, are inside. Take the time to listen to your own wisdom.
You got this! ;)
Much love and joy from me to you,
Have you been going through the void?
This has been a time of transitioning, growing, expanding, being still, letting go and of really going within...
It doesn't always feel good. Or easy. But it is well worth it.
For me, I had a few weeks there where I was in the think of it. A deep healing was taking place and the part of me that I know as our Ego was really putting up a fight to stay safe and not change.
I love the Urban Dictionary definition of Ego:
"The part of you that defines itself as a personality, separates itself from the outside world, and considers itself ("you") a separate entity from the rest of nature and the cosmos. Perhaps necessary for survival in some evolutionary bygone, in modern times it leads only to (albeit often disguised) misanthropic beliefs and delusion. In short, "I".
Ego is responsible for hate, fear, and delusion."
It can be dark, scary, painful to enter the void... it can seem as if we do not know the way up or down, and it can really be a time for grieving and for releasing the old ways in which we (our ego) usually clings to security. It can release a pattern of old behaviors, thoughts and patterns that are not healthy for us, that we thought we had gotten over.
It may feel harsh but it is the perfect time to get real with oneself. To look at where you have been in denial and making excuses for staying small.
This is not something to fret about, my dear friend. This is actually a great thing!! This means you are entering into a YOU that is READY for MORE!
We need to release the old in order to make way for the new joy, passion, sense of purpose and connection to our Self that belongs to us. Here, we get to live with more freedom rather than out of the subconscious patterns that live beneath the surface and feed off of fear!
So TAKE HEART!
If you are going through it, or if you are just re-emerging, take a moment to find gratitude for this period of transformation and growth.
Tonight is the Super Moon and it is the perfect time to release what you don't want to hold on to any longer.
Do this simple burning ritual practice to release the old fear and negativity and step into your freedom and empowerment right now.
Take a piece of paper and write an active statement "I AM RELEASING" or "I AM LETTING GO OF", then write down EVERYTHING that comes to you that you know you need to release! Read it out loud to yourself or a trusted friend, then BURN IT! Watch those flames soak up the page and feel your fears and pain dissolve as it does.
I did this last night and I woke up feeling a lightness in my step because I know I am truly letting go of what no longer serves me for my Highest Good.
Please reach out to me for extra support if you desire it. I am here.
Much self love and empowerment to you!
Being grateful is the doorway to joy, peace and self-love.
I am writing to you this evening as the great big Full Blue Moon paints a shiny hue through my window. I hear this Moon is all about seizing the moment; which is full of opportunities, possibilities and great potential for us all!
I am still in Brazil, I just got back to Rio de Janeiro last night from an impromptu trip to the Amazon Rainforest for a week where I had the privilege of meeting some wonderful human beings and being surrounded by beautiful Mother Nature.
I share my experience with you here (live from the Amazon of Brazil!)
I cannot tell you how much ease and humility I feel right now. I feel such a sense of wanting to be of service to others. I feel an overwhelm of empathy and of love for all of you.
I am hit with a deep sense of gratitude and awe for life, the Universe, and how everything in it and its ways are all so completely perfect.
Even the darker times and any current struggle.
I am seeing, hearing and feeling on a deeper level than ever before how everything is so perfect. Including everything we judge as imperfect, as wrong, as not right, as bad, sad, unfair... It's all working for the Greater Good, my dear.
We can't always see how it all is working for good. But through the eyes of love, unconditional, pure, break-your-heart-open-wide-LOVE, ahhh... it's all good!
If there is anything that I can assist you with, as always, please do not hesitate to reach out and share your struggle with me. Equally, if you feel pride in yourself for overcoming and being more of who you are, I'd love to hear your story of victory!
Here is one amazing woman's story that I want to share with you, because...well, you will see how strong she is and how she is turning years of tragedy into beauty and being of service to others.
These stories of hope, courage and believing in the bigger picture (which is full of love and peace), despite the painful, strenuous and even torturous aspects of being human, are everywhere. Look a little deeper at the lives around you and you will find them. Spend a little quite moment with yourself in compassion and gratitude and you will feel your own.
I encourage you to be gentle with yourself, with others, with whatever may be challenging or weighing on you now.
Find that simple yet profound gratitude in it all.
There is a bigger picture and your experiences of suffering can be transformed into something so beautiful, creative and uplifting for others who need to hear your story of strength, forgiveness, survival, and love above all else; so that they may too heal, rise above and pass on that beautiful light to others.
One last recommendation to amazingness I've witness this past few weeks; watch the Documentary on Netflix; "Girl Rising". Yes, there is injustice, there is pain beyond measure, but there is courage, there is hope, there is potential, and there is responsibility to really rise above and to create a better world for us all.
Much self-love and light to you from me,
P.S. Below is a gratitude exercise I've been doing almost everyday the past few weeks! This comes from www.fiveminutejournal.com which I found through Tim Ferriss. (This day I had blocked ears for a week and just got my full hearing back! haha!)
It takes about 5-15 mins and is is amazing. You get to really see how a simple intention for your day manifests. And gratitude for the simple things in life that are just so good for us. :)
Discloser: I do not always handle communication in relationships in the clearest way. I certainly have made and probably will continue to make my share of mistakes in relationships. I kinda learn through trial and error. One thing I can say for sure is I am doing my best in every moment because I am committed to my intention; which is to learn healthy ways of being and relating, to be my kindest, most grounded and expanded version of me and to create connection based on love and respect with others.
I am sure we have all felt the sting of a relationship fading, whether that be a lover-partnership, a creative/business-ship or a friendship. You both know that you are going in different directions, and when that's the case it's often easy to just let the split in paths naturally take you there.
There are other relationships it seems that you have no good reason to part, seemingly you both like and want the same things, but for some reason, it feels like a real effort when you want to connect with that person. You call, they text a week later saying they missed your call. You text back saying you miss their friendship and...they don't text back for another week.
Remember that revolutionary notice Sex and the City bought us? "He's just not that into you!" All the women would gasp in horror.. And then realty set in...Oh right, he doesn't call, he doesn't try, he doesn't want to create the same relationship you want to create.
We can apply this to any kind of relationship. But there is another side to the coin to consider. It's not just that the other doesn't want to hang out/have relationship with you, but often it relates to their own blocks that keep them from committing to creating said relationship. See, it's been put to the test and proven that we can create deep, long-lasting connections with anyone. By staring into each other's eye for 10 minutes and engaging in asking each other questions that help us get to know each other in a more intimate (rather than superficial) way, we can pretty much start to build a great relationship from there, with anyone!
But thats the thing. That's just the start. We have to nurture and put energy into that relationship to see it grow and prosper. So when one person is always putting energy out and feeding that connection, but the other is...not, well, there's just no way it can grow into the vibrant possibility that was first planted when you first met.
Friendship is a two way street.
If you find yourself in a one way street relationship, where you feel drained from being the person who drives up and down, reaching out and saying, "I'm here! Wanna play?" but not really getting back the same enthusiasm or nurturance, maybe it is time to stop the car, fill up the gas and be on your way. It's not easy to say goodbye to someone you desire connection with and see great potential in. We can have acceptance for that person to be on their own journey, and know that you are worthy of a two-way relationship, full of fun, support and inspiration.
Equally, you may decide you're not ready to let go just yet, so maybe it is time for a good, grounded chat about where you are both at. Speaking our truth in a compassionate, nonjudgmental and unattached to the outcome way is sometimes all that is needed to let someone know you would like to have more intention in your relationship and see if you can find a way to make sure you are both watering the seed of your relationship and are both seeing the bigger vision to see it grow full and healthy!
Tantra is the path to sensual awakening. It is the weaving of all of life, seen and unseen. Tantra is coming into the knowing and experience of One Self and of Life that is ever alive and fully felt!
How much can you allow yourself to feel, though all of your senses, mind, body, emotions, and stay grounded on the physical Earthly existence we live in? This is Tantra.
Tantra is an Ancient philosophy, originating from Southern India from over 5000 years old. It is not a religion or a cult. Tantra is a life long practice that we commit to in every moment. It is unique from other traditions because it considers the person as a whole entity. Tantra takes into consideration that you are living on Earth (you are not in the clouds!), which means you have worldly desires and needs. Tantra says that these desires and needs in the physical realm are not wrong or bad or something you should "transcend". Tantra teaches us that the physical, human experience is spiritual.
Many other spiritual paths have taught us that our desire for material and physical pleasure is, well... not spiritual! They place "enlightenment" as the destination and discard the journey along the way. What this does for us human beings is create an endless inner struggle of shame, blame and separation. It's as if we have to choose between spirituality and Earthly ideals and experiences, like they are completely separate. Most of us end us choosing to completely discount one and only experience the other, or we live in a perpetual state of double mindedness, which is just exhausting.
Through the study and practice of Tantra we can come into unity with All. We get to seek to expand our consciousness, reach higher states of being, touch the veil of the Spiritual world while also being firmly planted in our wonderful sensual bodies, and go after the things that make us fulfilled in this realm. We get to have it all!
Tantra is a way of life. To live Tantrically is to live in a state of continual coming back to feeling connected to the Self, to others, to nature and to the unknown. The ways we can do this are endless, as we discover there are infinite paths that all lead back to the same knowing.
These are some simple ways in which I practice living a Tantric life:
- Feel my senses- In any moment I can reconnect with my senses. What am I seeing, what do I hear, what do I feel against my skin, what do I smell, what can I taste?
- Access my Sensual energy- We each have this ball of energy located in our pelvis/sex region, it's called Kundalini, when we play with engaging our pelvic floor in a pulsing motion, we start to awaken this energy, and this energy is our life-force! Life-force = more energy, more pleasure, more creativity, more fun, more love, more peace, more, more, more!
- Mantra repetition- Sound is a powerful vibration and Ancient Tantrics sat mediating for long periods of time to find what sounds best create that peaceful feeling of connection and Oneness. Chanting "OM" while meditating or doing almost any thing (doing the dishes, when you're stuck on the freeway in traffic, having a shower!) increases awareness, centers the mind, balances our nervous system and hormone production, which balances our moods and gives us an overall sense of well-being! OMMMMMMM!
- Say YES- Tantra is all about letting go of control, releasing any agendas and judgment and taking the ride of life you are on. If I feel frustrated and irritated in any way, it is a sign that I am resisting what IS. Take a deep breath and come back to saying yes to the flow of life.
- Find the Pleasure- In all that you do, whether it's in the boardroom or the bedroom! Find the art in it. Become present to the situation, the experience, find what you can be grateful for and enjoy the moment!
Let me know what lights you up in life! How do you live Tantrically?
"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY OUT OF YOUR MOUTH THAT DETERMINES YOUR LIFE, IT'S WHAT YOU WHISPER TO YOURSELF THAT HAS THE MOST POWER" -ROBERT KIYOSAKI
"You can't do this. You're not capable. Just give up now. It's useless. Who do you think you are?"
Skreeeeech! I pulled the break on my inner critic!
"Listen, I can hear you loud and clear. I'm curious, what are you trying to do?"
"To protect you! Don't you know if you put yourself out there like that, you could get hurt! You'll make a fool of yourself!"; replied Miss fearful negative Nancy.
"Ok. I hear you are trying to protect me. So firstly, thank you. And, I want you to know, I know there's a possibility I may fall on my face, I may get criticized by others, I may feel things that are uncomfortable and even painful at times. I accept that. I'm willing to experience those things as part of the journey of life, and I know I am strong enough to let those feelings pass through me and keep going."
I heard my inner critic sigh a big sigh of relief. It could relax. I was taking care of it, I had listened, I had reassured it I knew the possible negative outcomes and that I could handle whatever life had for me.
Whether your inner critic shows up in your intimate relationships, your work and creative endeavors, or it likes to weak havoc all over your life....One thing is for sure that you are not alone; this voice keeps us all small, while pretending to "protect" us from pain and shame.
You may not be aware of this voice and maybe you are all too aware. Maybe you are pretty confident in one area but in another it's whispers keep you stuck in a scarcity mindset.
Personally; I know my inner critic tells me I'm not good enough, not capable, that I should just give up now because it's hopeless... this is something that has come from my own childhood experiences and adult experiences that have reinforced that negative belief system.
It's the equivalent of being trapped in your car with a really negative Nancy backstreet driver. They are telling you all sorts of things like you're never going to make it, you should turn around and stay where it's "safe", you're going to crash, we're all doomed!
Ask yourself; Is this someone you would let run your life and make all the major decisions? If so, you're not going to do the things you want to do or feel the way you want to feel.
TURNING YOUR INNER CRITIC INTO YOUR INNER CHEERLEADER
A good place to start when befriending your inner critic is to start listening and identifying the voice. Ask it what is it trying to do? Have a dialogue/relationship with this voice. It's important to realize the voice is not in control unless you let it be. Let it know you are grateful, you are aware of the possibilities and you are strong enough to handle whatever comes your way.
Then you can work on replacing the voice with a new more positive message. Even if it's difficult for you to believe that new voice at first, start to inject your mind with these feel good affirmations and I promise you, you will see a difference in your life and how you feel inside.
Watch the video for more on how to IDENTIFY, ACKNOWLEDGE, BEFRIEND and REPLACE your inner critic and turn that negative self talk into an empowering, positive, always-got-your-back, cheerleader!
What's holding you back from the life you long to live? Who's holding you back? Who says you can't do it, and do you believe them? Is your inner critic telling you you should go back and stay where it's "safe"? Are these voices old, childhood voices; voices from past painful experiences?
Watch this bonus video for a fun writing tool to turn your inner critic to an inner cheerleader today!
Experience life in a deeper, more honest and connected way, starting with YOU.
Our world needs you. More than ever before. And the best way you can help the world and the people in it, is by creating a truly loving relationship with Your~SELF!
Maybe you have heard about this Self~Love thang and wondered what the heck it really is. What is the Dalai Lama, Oprah and Deepak Chopra really all on about?! Aren't we kinda selfish if we are just loving ourselves?
Well actually, no! It turns out all these super successful and Zen like peeps are actually right about a thing or two! And you can join the revolution right now (or recommit if you fell off the Self-love train!). You see, SELF~LOVE is very different from SELFISH. Selfish as defined in the trusty online dictionary is "(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure." Whereas SELF~LOVE is defined as "having regard for one's own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic)."
You can see the difference there, right? SELF~LOVE does not seek it's own pleasure and profit over other people. A person who highly regards their own happiness and well-being still considers (and is kind to) those and the world around them.Now, this doesn't mean Self~Love is always easy or without it's challenges. When we truly love ourselves, we are also taking into care the people and responsibilities around us. And sometimes this means compromise. Sometimes it means saying no to someone that usually we would just allow to dominate or treat us poorly. Sometimes Self-Love says "I love you, but I love me more," when the situation is unhealthy. Other times Self-love says "I'm sorry, please forgive me, I'm willing to do the work to heal."
Self-Love is complex, because we are complex. Relationships are multilayered and so our relationship with ourselves are multilayered too. When we embark on this life-long (yes, life-long!) journey to truly, madly and deeply LOVE OUR SELVES, we will discover we are just like an onion. An onion? Bear with me! You will peel a layer back and cry, then you will peel another layer and cry and laugh at the same time. And that's how it goes! This is the beauty of being HUMAN! Embrace your human-ness. You are not a robot or anything else, you are human; you are beautiful from the inside out and you are you!
As we begin to peel back the layers that have covered up our true selves, there can be many sensations in our body, emotions and thoughts that come up for us. As I said, we are not robots!
I want you to hold onto these Mantras whenever challenging, uncomfortable or downer feelings come up for you:
"I am in process. I am peeling back the layers that have kept me from living in my truth and with complete Self~Love. I allow and accept these feelings and know that they are coming up for a reason, and that is good! These feelings shall pass like water running through a river."
Write these mantras down, stick them on post-its on your mirror, in your car, office, everywhere! You do not need to remember or say them all, just whatever ones feel good to you and can help to anchor you back to your Self~Love journey rather than get stuck in fear or self-deprecating patterns.
You are about to change the way your brain has been wired, and change is uncomfortable. Just remind yourself these are growing pains and you are growing into the powerful, joyful person that you were born to be!
Here is a fun Self-Love tool!
Embrace the skin you are in! Put on some music that makes YOU feel GOOD~ Silly, Sexy, soulful~ music, and just DANCE! Let it all go, feel your feet on the floor, your arms and fingers loose, your breath moving through you and your heart beating to the rhythm of your own internal drum!! Let yourself giggle and run your hands over your unique body. You only have one life (that we know of!) and this is the body you got~ Love it no matter what!! When the song fades down (or 5 songs!) stand with your feet firm on the floor, slow down your breathing with long, deep breaths, place your hand on your heart and whisper to yourself "I love you...(your own name). I accept you just the way you are. Thank you for this beautiful, strong, healthy body I am in. I love the skin I am in!"
Go ahead, let me know, how do you love yourself up? ;)